As I was rocking Brody to sleep tonight, before putting him down, I got to thinking how amazing he is and how incredible God is to create us in such a way. When you truly stop to think about it, it blows your mind away.

It’s funny how your mood changes about things.  For instance…

15 years ago
I didn’t want kids at all.
13 years ago
When I held my niece in my arms for the first time, my heart melted and I knew I had to have a child of my own.
8 years ago
I desperately wanted a child. I pleaded with God and mourned the thought of never having a child every time someone else was pregnant. I hated that time of the month and slipped into depression each time. It was so heartbreaking. I will always remember those days and the feelings that go with it. Infertility becomes a part of you and never goes away.
1 year ago
I had given up the dream of having a child and was becoming ok with life just being Jason and I. I convinced myself that freedom was a great thing to have. Freedom to go to Starbucks at 9:50pm (10 minutes before they close), freedom to run errands whenever, go to bed and wake up whenever, not planning my day or planning my day. I lived by my watch.
2 months ago
I wondered why I wanted children to begin with. Pregnancy and labor had its cons (and some big ones I might add). Bringing a newborn home and nursing every 2-3 hours, feeling like I was on call 24 hours a day. By the time one feeding ended, it felt like it was almost time to start the next feeding. It was pure exhaustion. All I could think of was that this would be our only child and one of us needed to get “fixed” ASAP.  LOL!
These past couple of weeks
I’m in awe of our little guy. He truly amazes me. His eyes watch me as I walk past him, he looks my way when I’m speaking to him, he smiles at me non-stop, and his coos melt my heart. The feedings aren’t as often and are more predictable, he’s sleeping on more of a schedule, and life seems to have some predictability to it. I am able to go out with him and do things. Being a Mom is extremely hard, but oh so rewarding.  I can’t imagine life without Brody.

I got ready the other day, so my hair was down (which I hate having it down when I’m feeding Brody….it just gets in the way).  When burping Brody, my hair would go over Brody’s head and it was pretty funny, so we had to get a picture. Poor guy looks like he has a mullet.  LOL!

Brody and I usually have our “awake” time in the master bedroom (especially if Jason is working from home).  I use our bed often to play with him and the past two days he’s fallen asleep on me, so I’ve taken advantage of that time to take pictures.  Today Bailey (one of our cats) decided to nap with him.

I’d hate to move him and take the chance of waking him up, yet I don’t feel comfortable to nap in the bed with him.  I highly doubt I’d roll over on him, but feel he’d choose that time to learn to roll over himself and land up face down.

Last night I went grocery shopping (we so needed to go).  Jason stayed home with Brody while I went.  I had just fed him and we had hoped he would take a nap (which he did).  When I got home, I found Jason sitting in the chair in the living room with Brody on his lap.  Brody had fallen to the side and the sight was too funny not to take a picture.  Look at his hand (looks like he’s holding on to Jason’s t-shirt for dear life).  LOL!

At night, I like to have “mitts” on Brody’s hands and have been using the gowns and onesies that have the built in, flip over mitts.  He loves to have his hands by his face and his nails are so sharp (even when cut or filed).  The other night I pulled out one of the long sleeve t-shirts that the hospital had on him (not sure if you’re suppose to bring that home or not).  I should have put a onesie underneath it, but didn’t.  I added a pair of sweat pants and he was dressed for the night.  When Jason or I held him, his shirt would ride up and show off his midriff.  We both thought it was cute, so had to take some pictures.

Brody is still in our room using the Pack N Play which has a changing table and bassinet feature.  Whenever I have him on the changing table, he looks up at the ceiling and smiles.  I’m not sure who or what is up there (trust me, I’ve searched for spiders and bugs on end), but lately we’ve been asking him if he’s smiling at Jesus.  LOL!  Jason got several pictures of him, but the ones that were the best (mouth wide open, smiling) turned out a bit blurry, so I’m displaying the best that we have (still cute).

Brody also tends to stare in corners of the room and just dazes off.  It’s so funny.

Brody had his one month appointment today and got a shot.  Poor thing cried so hard, but it only lasted for a split second, then I scooped him up and all was well.  He also cried when I took his band-aid off of him.  Poor little guy.  What a rough day (I haven’t told him yet that he’ll be getting two shots at the beginning of January).  The photo makes him look like he’s drugged up or something (little did he know the band-aid was coming off next).  LOL!

I just love these PJ’s on Brody (thanks Clarice)!  We had run out of outfits that fit him and I came across these PJ’s and thought I’d see if they would fit (they’re size 3-6 months).  They are SO cute on him!  I’m washing clothes today for Brody, but so glad I had a chance to try these on him.  He obviously likes them too (so happy in the photos).

Brody also received his first bottle this past weekend.  With my sisters help, I was able to understand the pump and am very impressed with it.  It was such a joy to see Jason feed Brody (and such a fun break for me too).  Brody didn’t miss a beat (I tell you, this kid loves to eat, so I wasn’t surprised that he couldn’t care less where the milk was coming from).  LOL!

Daddy’s such a natural

I love how Brody is so intent on looking at Jason’s face

Brody lost his umbilical cord over a week ago, but we hadn’t given him an official bath until this past weekend.  I was waiting for my sister to come and give me some confidence and guidance before he got one.  To our surprise, Brody did GREAT!  He didn’t cry once.  We were all surprised, especially since he hated the sponge baths (I guess sitting in warm water is more enjoyable).

Jason was armed with the video camera and my sister was armed with the camera.  It was great getting this moment captured for a lifetime.

Calm as can be

All wrapped up

Hugh Hefner or ready to box